Well, I had another stroke the day before yesterday, a stroke called a TIA, its a mini stoke a precursor to a big stroke. I went to the local hospital, and once again regretted my decision, I was released from the hospital too early and had to go back by ambulance and before I even got off the gurney the neurologist yelled out "Discharge her!" So without even an examination, like yesterday morning I was released and left to my own devices and left to have a full fledged stroke at home because the ego on this doctor knows no bound and he thinks he is god. So here I sit talking to you my dear reader, about my poor health once again. It must be very boring, it is all I have to write about, I don't think tat would be the case if I lived in my dearly beloved Phoenix Arizona (or anywhere else for that matter), its just this place that amplifies the misery.
I fucked up on the last phase of classes, I got 2 D+'s out of 4 classes, the others were A's, but those 2 D's really hurt....I am not passing along the information of those grades to the family.
Healthwise, if I did not have that mini stroke the day before yesterday I would say I'm feeling pretty good, at least as good as I get for me. These mini strokes have me concerned as they are a precursor to a big stroke and I have had a big stroke and I REALLY don't want to go through that again, and perhaps this time I will not have the successful recovery I did like with my first stroke. I don't want to end up a vegetable!.... All I can do is concentrate on doing the next right thing, going to school, getting going grades and making it through to reach my goals. I just keep thinking what kind of world it will be in 6 years when I graduate and I can take on patients, what kind of health care system I am going to have to work with. It has long since been my dream to be the voice for those that do not have one, like children, someone needs to speak up for them, defend them and protect them, that's the role I would like to play in the court system as well as having my own private practice, so I can help those that have reached the end of their rope and met with resistance with therapists all along, I want to be that one therapist who helps, who strikes that cord and is able make a difference in their lives. Sounds like a tall order, but I have been on the receiving end of a bad therapist and I know what it is like to not be heard or understood. I often wonder how I would have turned out if I had good therapy, someone who taught me coping skills and how to deal with life....but I digress. I am going to look up and see if medicare if they have a personal counselor for me to go to because the stress is killing me, little by little. All these health issues are related to stress, and the steroids, I can't eliminate either completely, but I can diminish both and maybe then I can start to lose some weight which will help me feel better about myself, etc, ect....
Well, I have complained enough for now,,,and let out my plans for my future, I have to make it, dying isn't in my plans.
