Mystery Case in Deliverance-Ville

 

 

 

There is something about having a pounding, reality-altering headache for five days that causes one to crave a bit of humor. Add to that, yet another grievous loss of a feline family member who was a companion, but an era, a last link to a time none of us were ready to let go of. I can safely say that humor has been in very short supply, while being desperately needed. So, in the brief moments I was lucid enough to string thoughts together, I recalled some stories that are at least incredible, at best hysterical...(I am hoping towards the latter.) Some couple, few years ago, shortly after moving here, I was skimming the local leaflet when a real live Sherlock Holmes type mystery leapt off the front page begging my attention. I always love a whodunit. Apparently, whilst fishing an unnamed man hooked more than he bargained for, he reeled in a suitcase. I am sure this man's mind was racing with all the possibilities - money, jewelry, some sort of treasure, as I would have been thinking the same thing....Alas, the Gods were not smiling on good ole' Jethro, as he pulled the case into his boat and wrestled to open it - grinning the way only a local could with his one tooth gleaming in the early morning sunlight. To his abject horror, he did not find money, jewels, sunken treasure, or even dirty underpants, his discovery was a leg. Yes a human leg. The story stated that this leg would be taken to the Big City to their pathologist to determine sex, and if possible cause of death…

I was hooked, (excuse the pun), I was waiting with anticipation for the autopsy results, which were taking an long time, especially since they only had a leg to work with.....However, before the results could be revealed, another lucky local had himself a similar adventure, but this time he caught himself a torso!  AH! Now them Big City folk really have something to work with, or so I thought. One may conclude that finding a torso would aid in determining the sex of the victim and maybe even cause of death....one LOGICAL person may think this......Once again silence from the metropolitan medical examiner....it had been some weeks without word one regarding any conclusions on these body parts fished out of the water (at very different locations I might at)....It had been so long since any update was revealed that I had forgotten about this DeliveranceVille dilemma...After many weeks of pontificating what little facts were known, and/or released this body business became curiouser and curiouser.....Then to my surprise, a front page story, with large print headlines and all, declared a head had been found in yet another suitcase, some distance from the other discovery could really crack this case wide open. Those smarty pants big city fellas figured out that humpty dumpty was a man! The article further stated that these brilliant minds also "were not ruling out foul-play"....GEE! Ya think!?  As I read further, while visibly shaking my head, the "Authorities were not ruling out SUICIDE?!  Now I ask you, dear reader, if you could please explain to me HOW this man committed suicide and then stuffed himself into separate suitcases and threw them in the water????  I am usually very good at playing clue, but this one totally escapes me....such is the life in Deliveranceville......